Life / Music

沉默 / Moment of silence

乐器是否退休, 有生有死? 当一个陪伴我的小提琴突然被压破, 这就是没命了吗?

全是我的错, 为什么觉得放托运箱就不会有问题? 如果琴是我的亲密朋友, 该这样对待他吗? 所以我很对不起, 很对不起. 我没有好好保护他.

这周抱着希望把琴带去店里问问师傅能不能修. 他一看就说知道怎么破了, 又说不值钱去修. 虽然不是他的琴, 师傅说看这把破坏的古老琴, 心很难过. 我当然也是. 一个多月没拉小提琴, 就这样不能拉了. 但没办法.

在店里很兴奋能摸到另个小提琴, 拉了一会儿. 作为告别吧, 可能需要很久时间才有机会这么顺手就能弹琴.

自己的破琴放回盒子, 估计再也不会拿出来了. 他受过好多伤, 但之前每次都恢复了. 这次看来就没有复活的一面, 只能磕个头, 道歉, 感谢, 他陪伴了我的返照青春, 大学, 职业新手生活.

北京这一站, 就为他好好写信吧.

~~~

Do musical instruments retire? Do they die? I always thought my violin would be there for me, to relieve some stress after a day of staring at screens. Now that it’s broken, does this mean its life is gone?

It’s all my fault for thinking a suitcase and a violin case could protect it on the airplane. If my violin were truly my friend, I should have protected it. So I am so sorry. So sorry.

This week I still had hope it could be fixed. But once the repairman saw it, he said it wasn’t worth the money, and that he knew exactly how it had been broken. Even though it’s not his violin, he was very sorry to see an old instrument in this condition. Of course I am as well. After not touching the violin for more than a month, I can’t believe I will never play it again.

As a sort of farewell, I was able to play another violin at the repairman’s shop. It will probably be a while before I can easily touch another one.

I put my own broken violin back into its case, likely never to be opened again. It has suffered many injuries over the years. They were always fixable. But this time, I can only bow my head, apologize, and say thank you, for bringing me so much comfort throughout high school, college and my first few years of work.

Here in Beijing, I will write in remembrance of its music, its beauty.

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