Whispers of “too young” and “too old” confuse the brain. Am I, at 19, really old enough?
From elementary to high school I was “too old.” I considered myself mature and a responsible person. Yet I was still too young, unable to drive, sign my own documents, and travel without a guardian.
Then I entered college, where I became young. I was younger than all my friends and I looked like a 12-year-old. But society and family expectations which I imposed on myself pushed me to advance and take advantage of every opportunity.
Scurrying from activity to activity, I realized I was not “old,” despite what others said. Although in legal terms I became an adult, seeing how capable and eloquent my peers were revealed to me that I had been lying to myself about maturity. I sometimes avoided responsibility more than I did in high school, because I was “too tired.” And many said I deserved a break. But as a college student I am still compelled to prepare myself to meet the future demands of a full-time job.
I hover now between youth and adulthood, knowing that I am neither, yet being told that I am both by others. Amidst expectations of adulthood, few have told me I am a youth still, with all its violent, fluctuating passions. Serenity is a goal, but a difficult state. Many have ignored the fact that adolescence does exist, and have criticized the term because modern adolescence does last longer than it ought. But adulthood does not come in a day. Somewhere along the journey from childhood to adulthood is confusion about identity. Growing pains do exist, and guidance to maturity must be provided.
As God’s call on my life looms great and mysterious, I wonder if I am too young still. I know that age is no excuse, for before my eyes are young people ministering to adults, sometimes married couples.
All God needs is a faithful worker.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12